DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my partner and I attended a neighborhood occasion, we started a dialog with a girl we had by no means met. A couple of minutes into our dialog, a neighbor approached us — somebody recognized to us however not the lady.
This neighbor is understood to have severe psychological well being points and an habit to alcohol.
Once we launched him to the lady we had simply met, he replied with an especially impolite and inappropriate comment directed at her. She instantly left us. We stood there in shocked silence for a minute or so, then excused ourselves as properly.
A couple of minutes later, I noticed the lady standing alone. I approached her and defined the scenario with the neighbor, with out an excessive amount of element. I additionally provided an “apology” of kinds. She was most understanding, and we proceeded to talk about extra nice issues.
Was I right in providing an evidence, thus discussing one other particular person’s medical points?
GENTLE READER: One hears the phrase “full disclosure” a lot nowadays that it’s pure to neglect there’s every other form.
Miss Manners agrees with your whole actions besides that she would have substituted a real apology for the “‘apology’ of kinds” — and omitted the neighbor’s medical historical past. His well being issues should not yours to inform, and accepting partial accountability for his misbehavior is much more beneficiant when unbacked by medical justifications.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m planning a once-in-a-lifetime river cruise with a detailed buddy of 45 years. We might be sharing a cabin or lodge room for 11 days.
We’ve got each struggled with well being points previously 12 months — myself with most cancers, at the moment in remission, and my buddy with shoulder surgical procedure. She can be overweight, has Kind 2 diabetes and had bypass surgical procedure about 4 years in the past.
I’m understanding every day to construct my power and endurance for this journey, which is going on in seven months. My buddy talks about working with a private coach to prepare, however has not elevated her exercise stage to this point.
I’m involved she is not going to be as bodily ready for excursions as I’ll, and I don’t need to sit and watch the world cross us by as a result of she must relaxation extra steadily.
As a journey mate, am I required to cut back my actions and select excursions at her stage? Is it impolite of me to push forward with extra energetic members of the group on outings, leaving her with the slower members?
I’m not apprehensive about her being alone, as she may be very outgoing and heat, and I’m certain she’s going to make many pals as we journey. Nevertheless, I don’t need to harm our friendship.
GENTLE READER: There may be an assumption, presumably mutual, that some portion of the holiday is to be spent collectively. However as you’re neither the host nor a caregiver, Miss Manners agrees that some portion can be spent aside.
Ideally your buddy agrees, and it is possible for you to to ask if she minds if you happen to skip forward this time, assured that she’s going to graciously encourage you.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
