DEAR ABBY: My husband is hooked on our house safety cameras.
He, my 19-year-old daughter and I stay in a townhouse, and he has put in no fewer than 20 cameras in and round our house.
He’s at all times them, once I’m on my means out to run errands or to go to my older daughter and even whereas we’re consuming dinner. He has began preserving a log of my daughter’s and my actions and what our neighbors are doing.
What’s mistaken with him?
UNDER A MICROSCOPE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNDER A MICROSCOPE: Does your husband have a job or any outdoors pursuits moreover what you, your daughter and neighbors are doing? His compulsion could also be attributable to insecurity, paranoia or a necessity to regulate.
Have you ever requested him why he feels the necessity to do that? Whereas it’s commonplace for households to put in safety programs of their properties, your husband’s obsession is excessive. This isn’t regular conduct, and one thing could also be mistaken with him.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a married man (15 years) with three youngsters, and I’m a recovering alcoholic.
My marriage has been a curler coaster stuffed with lies, infidelity (my spouse’s), abuse and ingesting. I’m in an outpatient alcohol program to avoid wasting myself, my household and my marriage.
My spouse is speaking to different males. She communicates by way of textual content, on social media and in particular person, saying it’s non-sexual.
She always tells me they’re higher than I’m, that I’m a loser and I’ll get what I deserve (that means dropping her and the kids).
I nonetheless need to save my marriage. I do know I’ve been a poor husband as a result of ingesting, however that’s altering. I hold attempting to persuade her to provide me somewhat time to show that I generally is a brand-new, sober, trustworthy man. She says it’s too late and that I pushed her into the arms of others.
She says she now not loves me and goes to divorce me. She evidently has employed an legal professional.
Our youngsters beg her on a regular basis to not divorce me, to not search others and to let Dad present he’s altering.
I’m misplaced, offended, damage and anxious. I need to save my household and one way or the other persuade her that I’m higher than the particular person she has seen. Is the trauma an excessive amount of to beat?
MIDDLE OF THE STORM
DEAR MIDDLE: Though it’s possible you’ll desperately need to save your marriage, on your personal sake, it’s time to face details.
Your spouse has an legal professional, plans to depart the wedding and is seeing different individuals. She’s now not excited about saving the wedding.
That you’re in a program that will help you overcome your dependancy is laudable, however paramount now could be that you simply do every part you’ll be able to to heal your self. It is going to make you a greater father to your youngsters if you’re absolutely current. It’s possible you’ll want skilled counseling that will help you by way of this painful interval so you’ll be able to map out a greater future for you and the children.
Speak to an legal professional for reassurance that your spouse can’t take them from you. You have already got their love. They see you are attempting to higher your self. Let nothing stand in the way in which of that.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
