DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m very a lot in opposition to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and I don’t wish to assist it by shopping for a diamond engagement ring, because the stone is prone to come from Russia.
I instructed my fiancee I wish to purchase her a ruby, emerald or sapphire ring — her alternative — however she says the one ring acceptable for an engagement is a diamond. What’s your recommendation?
GENTLE READER: This isn’t the jewellery division, so Miss Manners can’t advise you on how you can discover a diamond with a transparent provenance (or a lab-created one). However that’s what you need to do.
The reason being not as a result of there may be any etiquette rule about diamond rings. Frankly, we don’t even care if there’s a ring, a lot much less what kind. Etiquette considers that each one an engagement requires is an settlement between two folks to be married. It isn’t we who invented that bended-knee routine.
However your fiancee craves this. And your marriage will go higher when you acknowledge that whereas a partner’s ethical convictions must be revered, so ought to a partner’s emotional longings.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: On the fiftieth reunion of my skilled college class, the primary session of the reunion program included a number of audio system on subjects one would anticipate at such an occasion: class historical past, adjustments within the make-up of at the moment’s college students, introduction of recent college members.
Inserted into this lineup of audio system was a consultant from the college’s improvement workplace, who proceeded to present an exhaustive — and I do imply exhaustive — accounting of the myriad methods wherein we might give to the college. Money items, securities, actual property, annuities, all method of bequests.
On the finish of the presentation, through the question-and-answer interval, considered one of my classmates spoke as much as vehemently say that this enchantment to a captive viewers was in very unhealthy style, and by no means belonged on the occasion.
Different classmates disagreed, which led to a spirited debate.
What are your ideas? Do you imagine this to be a breach of etiquette?
GENTLE READER: Maybe, however solely in the identical sense as having a industrial inserted into your favourite program. It isn’t simply because your alma mater longs to see your growing old face that reunions are held.
That mentioned, Miss Manners remembers a reunion of a college within the Northeast the place elaborate leisure and considerate companies have been supplied, but hardly a phrase was mentioned about donations. They raked it in. Maybe your college would have accomplished higher by being much less obtrusive.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: If one is eating alone at a restaurant and should burp, what ought to one do afterward? It appears coarse to say nothing, however it appears odd to attempt to interact close by diners.
By saying “excuse me,” would one be asking the salt shaker for a pardon?
GENTLE READER: Even when eating alone, one ought to say “excuse me.” Particularly if the folks on the subsequent desk jumped.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, email@example.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.