DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a married lady, over 65 years previous, who has quite a lot of platonic friendships with males.
Having moved away from my hometown years in the past, I typically go to there, typically for every week or two at a time. An previous pal who’s a single man about my age has a snug residence there and enjoys my firm. Subsequently, after I go to this metropolis, I stick with him.
It’s not a big area, however we’ve got discovered options in order that I’ve my very own space by which to sleep and have some privateness. This association appears pure to me, and in addition to my husband.
My drawback is {that a} shut, longtime feminine pal finds this inappropriate, and her opinion on the problem is affecting our friendship. I’ve requested her if she thinks that this man and I are concerned sexually and he or she responds that she is “undecided.”
Am I incorrect to consider that women and men can have platonic relationships and that spending nights underneath the identical roof is a socially acceptable follow?
GENTLE READER: Why are you and your husband not chortling on the image of your good pal speculating about your doable wickedness?
As Miss Manners recollects, there was, certainly, a time when it was assumed that any male and any feminine who had been left unsupervised would go proper to it.
Now, regardless of hookup tradition, we’ve got needed to face the disappointing proven fact that we’re simply not perpetually all that sexually charged. One shouldn’t assume that even opposite-sex roommates are as much as any exercise extra thrilling than video video games.
Additionally, society has realized — properly, to not thoughts its personal enterprise, however at the least to register much less shock. Time was when marriage ceremony visitors would possibly query whether or not a bride was “entitled” to put on a white gown. That nasty little bit of enjoyable was spoiled when the maid of honor may very well be the couple’s daughter, or one of the best man her earlier husband.
Your pal appears to not have seen the change in attitudes. Miss Manners could be inclined to let her get pleasure from herself questioning about your scandalous conduct.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is the pasta spoon used broadly in Italy? If not supplied one at a restaurant or at somebody’s residence, ought to one request it? Or does the truth that a spoon has not been provided point out that one isn’t wanted or shouldn’t be used?
GENTLE READER: The reply will antagonize numerous Italian Individuals, which is definitely not Miss Manners’ intention.
These whose grandparents used the spoon consider that it’s a correct Italian customized.However this utilization developed in America, and isn’t practiced by grown-ups in Italy, the place the spoon is used solely to show babies the essential ability of twirling pasta. Mi dispiace.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be taught to say “excuse me” each time I unintentionally burp in well mannered firm. What ought to I do if I break wind?
GENTLE READER: Direct a shocked take a look at the closest canine.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
