DEAR ABBY: I’m being requested to donate to my grandchildren’s fundraisers for college actions like band, cheerleading, and many others. That is taking place through e mail requests from a third-party website utilizing their identify.
My situation is, I imagine my grandchildren ought to ask me personally, or at the least warn me they’re elevating cash for his or her exercise and I’ll be receiving an e mail. Am I improper to need a private request?
GROUCHY GRAN IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR GRAN: You aren’t improper. Nevertheless, this can be an occasion of expertise working amok.
If you obtain a solicitation like this, decide up the telephone, inform your grandchildren it confirmed up and ensure it’s official. Make the dialog a pleasant one and ask what’s happening with them, and when you really feel like contributing, say so. On the finish of the dialog, remind them that you’d love to listen to concerning the exercise earlier than receiving an automatic request for cash.
DEAR ABBY: My son is demanding that I inform his father and brother to name him to apologize for previous behaviors and attitudes that damage him. He says if I don’t, he’ll now not come residence for any visits.
He lives within the East; we’re within the Midwest. I’ve traveled alone to go to him, nevertheless it’s getting more durable as my automobile and I age.
His father had alcohol points in addition to psychological well being points and was abusive however has been sober for a number of years now. I’ve been in Al-Anon for greater than 25 years and nonetheless attend conferences.
I don’t know the way to reply to my son’s calls for. What’s your recommendation?
MEDIATING MOM IN IOWA
DEAR MOM: I don’t blame your son for avoiding individuals who trigger him ache.
Inform him that an apology that’s coerced isn’t any apology in any respect. A part of dependancy restoration is the requirement to make amends to these the addict has wronged or damage. Your husband has not finished that, nor has your son’s brother.
Proceed to go to your son so long as you may, however don’t enable him to contain you on this, as a result of it received’t work.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been seeing “Ronald” for a bit of greater than a yr. He’s 9 years older than I’m, and we don’t actually have quite a bit in widespread.
He has emotions for me, however I don’t really feel the identical towards him. He has helped me out quite a bit financially and doesn’t anticipate me to pay him again.
The issue is, I’ve met another person with whom I’ve a lot in widespread. We knew lots of the identical individuals once we have been youthful. He acknowledged me after I confirmed him an image from my youthful days. We each have emotions for one another. He’s a yr youthful than I’m.
I simply don’t know what to do. Please assist.
MIXED-UP IN THE SOUTH
DEAR MIXED-UP: Be an grownup. Summon the braveness to inform Ronald that you’ve reconnected with somebody you knew years in the past, and also you wish to pursue it.
Clarify that you’re being upfront since you really feel it wouldn’t be honest or trustworthy to maintain him at nighttime. Then thank him for his friendship and his assist, and inform him you might be grateful for the kindness and generosity he has proven you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
