DEAR ABBY: I’m an older girl. My husband and I’ve been married eight years and had been collectively 15 years previous to our marriage.
He is a superb, caring man in most methods. However infrequently, he snaps extraordinarily unflattering pictures of me, sends them to everybody we all know and even orders enlargements made for me.
I’ve a mouth situation that makes smiling painful, so except I do know an image is being taken, I look actually previous and grumpy. I’ve requested him please not to do that as a result of it’s humiliating when he sends them out to family and friends members. I believe it’s unkind and disrespectful and have informed him so, but he persists.
I’m to the purpose that this has grow to be a deal-breaker in our marriage, and he is aware of it. He claims he loves me and is pleased with me. And sure, we now have been to counseling about our relationship basically due to the numerous occasions he has humiliated me in public. However he received’t cease.
How can I deal with this going ahead?
HUMILIATED AND HURTING
DEAR HUMILIATED: It seems your “great, caring” husband has a imply streak. He’s getting his kicks by embarrassing you.
One technique to deal with it going ahead can be to disregard him when he does it. It received’t be straightforward, however when he realizes he can’t get the specified response from you, he could do it much less typically.
One other technique to cope with it will be to debate privately with a licensed therapist whether or not his conduct actually has grow to be a deal-breaker. The selection is yours.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend lives with certainly one of his closest associates, “Invoice.” I do know him effectively and keep at their condo typically. Over time we now have grown fairly shut.
I take heed to Invoice speak about his hobbies and issues as a result of his associates get uninterested in his rambling.
I’m afraid Invoice has grow to be too hooked up to me due to this, as a result of he has began texting me daily, asks me to go locations with him and fixates on me each time I’m over there. The final straw was when he known as me in the midst of the night time, crying about his ex-girlfriend.
With the intention to protect his residing state of affairs and their friendship, my boyfriend doesn’t need to confront Invoice till he crosses a line. I consider he has already violated my boundaries. How do I cease this elephant within the room from rising?
UNSURE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR UNSURE: I agree that multiple boundary has been violated. As a result of your boyfriend is unwilling to attract the road, you’ll have to.
Begin by telling Invoice that you simply don’t need him calling in the midst of the night time or as typically as he does. Go to your boyfriend at his shared condo much less typically. Take your time responding to Invoice’s each day texts, and refuse his invites to go wherever.
It might take some time for him to get the message, so be ready.
DEAR ABBY: What do I do if my spouse of 36 years desires to be laid to relaxation someplace apart from subsequent to me in Hawaii?
WONDERING IN HAWAII
DEAR WONDERING: Hope that you simply outlive her.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
