Said a woman who was raped as a child Independent Malta on Sunday She wondered why the abuse wasn’t paid, like her mother, who worked as a prostitute.
Yolanda Bonello talked about the abuse she endured when she was eight in this newsroom.
Unfortunately, the tragic incident of rape circling around the media was not uncommon. Bonero, who spoke outwardly about the horrific events he experienced on social media platforms, names himself as a role model for those who have experienced the same.
At the age of 49 at the time of the rape, a man who was a former partner of his mother and was known for sexual abuse of minors was subsequently imprisoned and died in prison. Bonero’s mother left Bonero to the criminals and worked on the streets of prostitution.
When asked about his age when he finally spoke, Bonero replied that he was only 13 years old after five years of silence.
“I didn’t speak up for five years, which was disastrous for me because it released those feelings through a terrible uproar,” Bonero said. At that time, she was raised by the state and her sisters and her mother had only limited privileges to meet her.
Bonero said he met a rapist who worked as a donut seller after a Thursday in May. She hadn’t seen him for five years. When she saw her, he recognized her and began to stick her tongue out to her.
“At that time, I realized that it was unfair that I was suffering from all these plights here and that he was living a normal, comfortable life.” Bonero then she was for herself. He said he had the courage to stand up and went to talk to the sister who was taking care of her about the abuse.
She said it started a long court process involving Appogg, deputy forces, and child protection services.
“The inspector at the time asked what I expected after I spoke out. I just said I wanted to do some kind of revenge without doing anything illegal. I wanted compensation for what he did to me, I wanted him to be put in jail, “Bonero said.
She continued to say that it was comfortable to speak in court when she raised her voice, and stood as a witness revealing everything that had happened. It was a wonderful liberation for her. Bonero said she probably wouldn’t speak out if her abuser threatened to kill her someday.
“If he had threatened me, it would have affected me for the rest of my life,” she said.
Bonero was still in school at the time, so the question was whether she had talked to her teacher at the time, or whether her students came to know what had happened. Bonero replied negatively, she said, the court event happened in the summer, but when the news came out, people kept talking about it at school and the sadness that something very scary happened to very young people. Was expressed.
Her name wasn’t in the media, so Bonero said the abuser would be angry, as people said.
Bonero said she always blamed her mother most because she always felt safe with her sister. When people asked her where her sisters were during her trials, she always told them that her mother had privileges on the weekends and that the abuse happened that day.
Bonero was asked how the sister helped her face the situation, and she replied that the sister was very supportive and even a private psychologist along with counseling.
When parents, parents, and child caregivers are asked what works to prevent this situation, she is a role model for parents, parents, and those involved with the child. , Said that children should be educated from an early age What is right or wrong?
“I thought what was happening was normal. I thought every family experienced this. I knew what sex was from an early age, but I made a distinction between sex and rape. I didn’t know; I was still a kid and I saw my mother doing the same thing, “Bonero said.
Prompted by this, Bonero was asked at what point he realized that the actions taken by her were not normal, not the actions of someone who wanted the best for her.
“I knew what was going on, I saw my mother doing this,” she said. “Like my mother, I wondered why I didn’t get paid after being raped,” Bonero said.
She once asked the abuser why she didn’t receive money for what she did, and he told her that it was because she was young.
“He will silence me by saying I’m young and will receive money when I get older,” Bonero said. “He just gave me some coins to buy sweets,” she said.
Asked if she had spoken to her mother about what was happening, Bonero replied negatively.
“My mother knew this when I talked to my sisters and we met Apog, where she denied any knowledge of what was happening,” Bonero said. .. “But I think she knew. He said to me,’Let’s go play,’ and my mother recommended it. He put me behind the locked door,” Play. ” “He took me to, and she was there,” Bonero said.
Asked how the events affected her life, Bonero was struck by the five years of turmoil and hidden emotional turmoil she believed she had affected people around her, including her sisters. I said I suffered.
“Sometimes I change my mind when I want to talk to them. I saw the story of another rape that the girl couldn’t believe and that discouraged me.” He added that he didn’t know how to express himself in words, even though he was on the verge of talking about. Her sisters also made her express her anger by leaving her alone in her room so she could break the glass.
Bonero said he recently enjoyed talking openly with people who had the same experience and encouraged them to speak up. But she said there are moments in her life where it’s difficult for her to make sure she’s releasing her emotions alone.
Bonero was asked how to deal with these feelings, sometimes relying on alcohol, and then said she would call a possible helpline for help.
“Today, after turning 18, I lost some people, and the help I received as a kid was more than I am now,” she said. ..
Bonero talked about how the events affected her relationship and how she needed to be proactive in working on them.
“I once thought that my partner’s facial expression resembled that of an abusive person, which hurt me mentally,” she said. “I took the time to talk to my partner and remember that the rapist died,” Bonero said, adding that he needed to change the way he responded to the particular situation so that he wouldn’t be reminded of the rapist. .. But she said her overly romantic gestures and her many impressions still bother her.
Asked about her outlook on life today, Bonero said she felt stronger than others because of what happened to her. But she said she was developing some trust issues and she wouldn’t make people in her life easy.
In retrospect, what does she say when she is eight? In retrospect, Bonero said she did the right thing in a loud voice. She said she didn’t want anyone to do these things, but she was pleased because she could be the inspiration for someone else, or a crying shoulder.
https://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2022-05-08/local-news/I-wondered-why-I-wasn-t-getting-paid-after-being-raped-as-an-8-year-old-6736242756 “Why didn’t I get paid after being raped at the age of eight?”