DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a pal who has been concerned in a little bit of controversy in our hometown.
I haven’t lived there for many years. She moved again just lately, and due to what occurred, individuals are speaking badly about her.
I really feel for her. Whereas it looks as if she did do what individuals are accusing her of, she nonetheless deserves assist. I wish to be there for her, however I don’t wish to get in the midst of politics in our city. How can I handle this?
— Within the Center
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Discuss to her concerning the scenario, and ask her how she is feeling about issues.
Inform her that you simply wish to assist her behind the scenes. Be sincere and admit that you’re not occupied with getting concerned in what seems like a neighborhood scandal. Discover out what she feels she wants to assist her navigate this case.
Provide to be a personal sounding board. Promise to all the time inform her the reality, however draw the road relating to being publicly concerned.
If others discover out that you’re supporting her, don’t lie. Inform the reality: You consider everybody deserves assist. That’s what you might be providing to her — with out judgment.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a college pupil going into my junior 12 months. I’ve wished to review overseas in Spain since I used to be in center college. My sister just lately returned from her semester overseas in Spain and mentioned that she felt at peace there.
I just lately arrange a gathering with my monetary adviser, and she or he made me really feel defeated as a result of my household’s EFC (anticipated household contribution) has modified for this college 12 months, considerably lowering the help I would obtain. I now have to lift over $20,000 in scholarships.
I don’t know if I can do that as a result of I’m not eligible for many of the scholarships I used to be planning to use for.
I’m nonetheless going to attempt to increase the funds, however I’m crushed that I may not have the ability to do one thing that I’ve been dreaming about for years. How do I put together myself for the truth that I’ll not have the ability to fulfill my dream of finding out overseas?
— Longing To Go Overseas
DEAR LONGING TO GO ABROAD: Don’t surrender so rapidly. Get inventive as an alternative.
Take into account making a crowdfunding marketing campaign the place you enchantment to folks about your need to expertise a semester overseas. Write a compelling pitch and set a monetary purpose. Then share your marketing campaign broadly. It’s a must to be keen to place your self on the market and ask for the cash. You simply would possibly get it.
Additionally, speak to your college and examine completely different alternatives to get scholarships. What you first thought was attainable will not be, however that doesn’t imply that nothing is out there. Search for giant scholarships in addition to smaller ones.
Apply for every thing. Go to civic organizations in your hometown in addition to homes of worship. Set an intention that you’ll increase the cash, and go for it.
Get a job to assist increase cash.
If, for any purpose, it doesn’t occur, you’ll survive. You’ll be ok with your self, too, that you simply gave all of it you needed to make that dream occur.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.