DEAR ABBY: Ever since we first started relationship, I informed my spouse I by no means wished to personal a canine. She gave the impression to be OK with it, however over the past 10 years, she has put intense strain on me to get one.
She now says she “doesn’t keep in mind” our authentic dialog and says she by no means would have agreed to it. She is rallying the children in opposition to me.
She works, and I keep at house with the children, so it might be my duty to handle the pet, which I refuse to do. I really feel bodily sick round canine, however as a result of I don’t actively sneeze round them, she thinks I’m making up my sensitivity.
We additionally stay a transient life-style that may power us to kennel the canine for one to a few months a 12 months, which might price cash we don’t have.
I’m uninterested in this dialog, and bored with feeling like I’m “ruining her life.” What ought to I do?
— DOGLESS IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR DOGLESS: Since you might be outvoted, ask your physician to refer you to an allergist, a doctor whose follow includes the analysis and remedy of allergic reactions, as a result of there are answers to the issue.
As soon as that’s handled, insist earlier than adopting a canine that your youngsters be answerable for feeding, strolling and coaching the animal — with penalties in the event that they don’t. The duty will train them classes that can show precious when they’re older.
As to what to do with the brand new member of the family in the course of the time you’re touring, both discover pet-friendly locations to remain or make it your spouse’s activity to discover a boarding state of affairs for “her” canine that received’t break the financial institution.
DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I married a 12 months in the past, I dropped my medical health insurance plan and joined his household plan, which additionally gives protection for his youngsters, together with one who’s an grownup. There was no further price so as to add me.
Months later, the month-to-month premium was raised for all workers. When my husband talked to his grownup little one about serving to to pay their share of the premium, they prevented a solution, and the difficulty was dropped. My husband not too long ago raised the topic once more, and was met with the identical avoidance and excuses about not working sufficient hours. They aren’t a full-time school scholar, both.
Shortly after the dialog ended, this grownup little one took to social media to rant about what a jerk their dad is for asking them to assist pay, after which additionally posted a number of accusations that had been unfaithful. This damage my husband deeply, and his makes an attempt to speak are being ignored.
My husband was by no means heavy-handed about it. He hoped that, as a younger grownup, they might perceive why they had been being requested to help with their well being care. As a substitute, it has changed into a infantile, disrespectful assault.
My husband now needs to take away this grownup little one from his insurance coverage fully, and I agree, even understanding the potential ramifications.
Does this make us unhealthy individuals? Is it mistaken to ask a younger grownup to assist with the price of their medical wants?
— HURTING FOR MY HUSBAND
DEAR HURTING: Your husband’s little one could also be over 21, however they acted like a child throwing a tantrum. As a substitute of appreciating what they’ve been given, they’re demanding extra. It could be a mistake to proceed rewarding unhealthy habits.
It wasn’t mistaken to ask a younger grownup to contribute to the price of their medical health insurance. Below the circumstances, eradicating this “little one” from the insurance coverage coverage doesn’t make you “unhealthy” individuals; it makes you clever individuals.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.