Editor’s observe: Mr. Roadshow wished to share a few of his favourite columns and tales from greater than 30 years of informing, entertaining and getting issues modified for Bay Space (and past) drivers. He’ll be again on the highway with new materials quickly. Within the meantime, please hold sending Mr. Roadshow your feedback or inquiries to email@example.com.
This story initially was printed on February 1, 2005
Welcome to Day Two of Loopy Driving Stunts. In the present day we function drivers who use their vehicles as dressing rooms. Learn ’em and weep. And please hold each arms — or not less than one — on the wheel.
Q: This occurred years in the past to my sister on I-280. She didn’t have a superb pair of nylons and was late for work, so she stopped at a 7-Eleven and acquired some pantyhose. There’s a spot on I-280 the place you drive uphill after which can coast down the opposite aspect, and whereas coasting downhill she proceeded to drag up her costume and placed on her panty hose. A cop observed her erratic driving, so he pulled her over. As a result of her pantyhose was not totally on, she pulled her coat over her steering wheel. The CHP requested her for her license and registration. He requested if she was hiding one thing below the coat. She mentioned no. He requested her to take away the coat from the steering wheel and she or he mentioned no once more. He mentioned “if you happen to don’t take away the coat so I can see what’s beneath, I’ll arrest you.” She eliminated the coat, and the CHP noticed that her costume was pulled as much as her waist and the nylons have been solely midway up. He received embarrassed and mentioned, “Have a pleasant day, ma’am” and drove away.
C.C.M., San Jose
A: Sufficient mentioned.
Q: Within the ’70s I traveled on Montague and San Tomas expressways and noticed a driver utilizing an elbow and his knees to steer whereas he modified garments, shaved and brushed his tooth. I typically surprise if he’s nonetheless alive after his loopy driving.
Sharon Mattheus, Hollister
A: If this fella shouldn’t be on the highway anymore, perhaps his son is.
Q: There was a driver who I nicknamed “The Dresser.” The primary morning I noticed him, he was trimming his mustache (with scissors) utilizing his mirror as he drove. Then he switched to an electrical razor and shaved his face and chin. He was bare-chested till the following mild, the place he picked up a T-shirt and costume shirt from the passenger seat and put them on. By then I used to be craning my neck to see if he was carrying any trousers however couldn’t inform (alas). He was knotting his tie in transferring site visitors. A number of days later I noticed him on the drive dwelling. This time he reached over his head, and yanked his shirt off, fully overlaying his face for a number of seconds. Then he took a sweater and pulled it over his head, overlaying his face once more. All this in site visitors. After that, if I noticed him, I took one other route.
Judy Anderson, Mountain View
A: Sensible girl.
Q: On I-880 in stop-and-go site visitors on an especially scorching day, I noticed a younger man eradicating his shirt and tossing it into the again seat. Shortly thereafter got here his trousers. I suppose his air con was out.
A: Or he had leather-based seats.
Q: I used to be on I-580 after I did a double take. The motive force of a small automotive was curling her eyelashes, utilizing a mechanical roller that clamps onto the lashes and places a crimp in them, inflicting her to drive with one hand and one eye. Loopy!
Carl Boro, Milpitas
A: And . . .
Q: My favourite? A girl French-braiding her hair down I-280 in heavy site visitors. You most likely need to be feminine to understand this, however she was doing a single French-braid along with her lengthy hair, which requires two arms. She would maintain her work in progress with one hand and put a hand on the wheel for a second or two. I used to be each appalled and captivated, questioning if she would succeed. She did!
A: No braids for me!
Q: I noticed a person on Freeway 17 brushing his tooth when he opened his door, caught his head out and spat.
Jan Tomlinson, Scotts Valley
A: However did he floss?