DEAR MISS MANNERS: A younger colleague is anticipating her first baby. I’m very pleased for her, though I really feel conflicted about how the celebration has been communicated.
She invited colleagues to buy objects from her registry by the date of her child bathe — to which there was no invitation. This communication went out through workplace e-mail. I ought to add that this colleague’s superior is the pinnacle of human assets.
Is it applicable to ask for contributions from individuals who aren’t invited to an occasion?
GENTLE READER: In descending order, Miss Manners shouldn’t be keen on: mandated socializing on the office, dunning anybody for items, and present registries.
Dunning non-guests had not beforehand made her checklist, however we will add it.
Having it achieved by somebody at work able that carries skilled authority over the victims is each impolite and a horrible employment observe — one thing she would suggest bringing to the eye of human assets have been they not, themselves, the offenders.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I just lately ate with household at a fine-dining restaurant. We’ve been there a number of occasions, and the meals is superb. The one downside I’ve is that I don’t take pleasure in watching the chef put together dishes tableside.
The method is intrusive, and I don’t just like the cooking smells and the hearth so near the desk.
Do you suppose it will be impolite to ask that our meals be ready within the kitchen after which served on the desk?
GENTLE READER: High-quality eating and dinner-and-a-show are typically reverse extremes in formality. However Miss Manners acknowledges that flambe-ing the dessert will be achieved with out the cook dinner additionally cleansing his fingers in your serviette earlier than tossing it again onto your lap.
For those who see the server reaching for a match, you might be actually free to ask that the preparation not be achieved on the desk. As long as you’ve the energy to disregard the dissatisfied look on the waiter’s face.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I obtained probably the most lovely earrings from a brand new boyfriend for my birthday. Once I opened the field to put on them, there was a price ticket hidden within the jewellery field itself. I’m certain he didn’t see it.
The jewellery was considerably costlier than I had anticipated. There’s a little guilt now, figuring out the value and never saying something. Do I say something or let or not it’s?
GENTLE READER: As the value doesn’t, from an etiquette standpoint, have an effect on their worth — even when the Hope Diamond hung from one of many earrings — Miss Manners can solely conclude that you just felt your thanks have been insufficient to the emotion being expressed.
She is going to depart it to your mom to clarify what’s implicitly communicated by accepting costly presents from beaux.
For those who hold the earrings anyway, she counsels one other, extra effusive, spherical of thanks subsequent time you put on them — with out mentioning that you just now know their worth for insurance coverage functions.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, email@example.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.