DEAR HARRIETTE: My finest pal at work and I are up for a similar promotion. So far as I do know, solely considered one of us can get it, and it’s making me sick to my abdomen to consider having to compete together with her.
We each should advance at work, and I don’t assume it’s good for both of us to again down from making an attempt for this promotion. The factor is, I don’t know speak about it together with her.
I fear that we gained’t be associates after the choice is made. It doesn’t appear honest that excelling within the office might result in the top of our friendship.
Are you able to counsel a method for us to reside by means of this? In some methods, she is extra vital to me than my work, however I do know I have to take my profession critically.
— In Competitors
DEAR IN COMPETITION: Why not speak about your scenario immediately?
Sit down along with your pal and remind her of how a lot you care about her in addition to how bold you realize you each are. State the plain: You each are going for the promotion that’s obtainable, and it’s seemingly that just one individual can get promoted.
Comply with do your finest as you compete for this position. Comply with be trustworthy and aboveboard as you pitch for yourselves, and acknowledge that you just each need to go all out to be able to stand an opportunity. Additionally word that someone else might presumably win this promotion, and neither of it’s best to take with no consideration that it will likely be yours.
In your dialogue, do your finest to agree to stay associates it doesn’t matter what occurs. Then go for it.
By the way in which, don’t discuss to your pal about your strategy of preparation. Put in your work hat and hunker down. Do all which you can to prepare and to point out your abilities with out ever disparaging her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been a smoker for years, and though I do know it’s a horrible behavior, I simply couldn’t give up. Nevertheless, I by no means needed my youngsters to select up on it.
That’s why I used to be devastated to search out out that my daughter has began smoking cigarettes, too. She’s in her early 20s, and I do know that I can’t drive her to cease.
I’m at a loss as to what to do. How can I get her to grasp the hazards of smoking with out being a complete hypocrite?
— Don’t Smoke
DEAR DON’T SMOKE: Discuss to your daughter immediately and inform her how involved you might be about her smoking.
Admit out loud that you just understand you’ve been a horrible instance since you smoke. Supply to give up together with her. As onerous as it will likely be to give up this addictive behavior, the one method you stand an opportunity of getting your daughter to cease is should you determine to cease your self.
See if she is keen to go on this journey with you. Will probably be extremely tough, however should you two do it collectively, it might convey you nearer and presumably achieve success.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.